Francis Pope in his catechesis on the Fathers: "Not ‘controllers,‘ but close to the children as they grow"
In this morning’s catechesis, Pope Francis spoke again about the figure of the father. As he promised last week, after insisting on the danger of absent fathers, this time the focus was on the positive aspects of being fathers.
A father, the Pope said, "doesn’t say: ‘I‘m proud of you because you’re just like me, because you repeat what I say and I do. No, he says something far more important: ‘I‘ll be happy every time I see you act wisely, and I will be moved every time I hear you speak uprightly. This is what I wanted to leave you, that it might become yours: the ability to feel and act, to speak and to judge with wisdom and rectitude. And, I taught you things you didn’t know and I corrected mistakes you didn’t see, so that you could be like that." "I made you feel affection, both deep and discreet, that you may not have fully recognize when you were young and unsure," noted Francis: "I showed strictness and firmness to you that you may not have understood, when you wanted only support and protection. I, first of all, had to test the wisdom of the heart and manage the excesses of sentiment and resentment, bearing the weight of inevitable misunderstandings and finding the right words to make myself understood. Now, when I see you trying to do the same with your children, and with everyone, I am moved."
"I’m happy to be your father:" "this is what a wise father, a mature father, says" the Pope continued, leaving the text aside. "The father present, always!" Francis immediately exclaimed, receiving the applause of the faithful. He then went on to explain that "this is the first need: the father must be present in the family. He must be close to his wife, to share everything: joys and sorrows, hopes and labors. Likewise, he must be close to the children as they grow: when they play and work, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they express themselves and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they make a wrong step and when they find their way." "Saying that he is present—Francis emphasized—doesn’t mean that he should be a controller‘: fathers who ‘control’ excessively hamper their children and don’t let them grow up." "A father—the Pope continued—knows just how much it costs to pass on this inheritance: how much closeness, how much tenderness, and how much strength. Yet, what consolation and what recompense he receives when his children honor this inheritance! It’s a joy worth every struggle, which surpasses all misunderstanding and heals all wounds." "Fathers have to be patient," concluded the Pope, still speaking off the cuff: "So often there’s nothing else to do but wait, with patience, kindness, generosity and mercy."