In his meeting with the engaged couples last year, on 14 February, Pope Francis already said this, but yesterday, in his Wednesday Audience in St. Peter's Square, he repeated that "please", "sorry" and "thank you" are indispensable words "in the life of the couple and the family." "These words are essential for a happy and steadfast life, where love and mutual respect overcome attitudes that undermine the relationship." With these three words, a "litmus test" to see if the foundations of a house are of rock or sand, the Pope opened the catechesis with which he intends to begin "a series of reflections on life in the family."

First, Francis reflected on good education, which can be "half holiness"—as Francis de Sales put it—or a "mask that hides the aridity of the soul and neglect of the other," in a word "bad habits": "The devil who tempts Jesus puts on good manners—but he is really a gentleman, a knight—and quotes Scripture, like a theologian. His style seems correct, but his intention is to divert from the truth of God's love. We, on the contrary, understand good education in its true terms, where the style of good relations is firmly rooted in the love of good and respect for others. The family thrives on this fineness of loving. "

 

Then Francis focused on the weight of the three words in married life and family: "Saying 'please', that is, 'asking kindly even what we may think can be expected' also allows 'true protection of the spirit of conjugal life and the family." "Gentleness is needed for entering another person’s life, even when it is part of our own, and asking a non-invasive way that renews confidence and respect. In short, confidence does not authorize taking everything for granted." As for the "thank you," Francis stressed that our civilization is becoming a "civilization of bad manners and bad words," where someone who says thank you, under a gaze of "mistrust," seem truly weak.

"We must—he urged—become intransigent on the education in gratitude, in recognition: human dignity and social justice both pass by here. If family life neglects this style, even social life will lose it. Gratitude, then, for a believer, is the very heart of faith: a Christian who does not know how to say thank you is one who has forgotten the language of God."

Finally, "sorry": no this, the "small cracks" that exist in a relationship grow wider, and turn into "deep ditches." On the contrary, "recognizing the failings, and be willing to restore what has been taken away—respect, honesty, love—makes people worthy of forgiveness. And that's how the infection stops;" but "if we cannot apologize, that means that we are also unable to forgive." Finally, the Pope recommended "never ending the day without making peace in the family." There's no need to "kneel down," just "a small gesture, a little one like this." Then, he concluded, "with this, life will be more beautiful."