Let pastoral agents and the large public of those who are in love, engaged, married and those who approach marriage, as well as those interested in the issues concerning the life of the couple and of the family, note this precious and complete volume, full of doctrinal wisdom and human sagacity enlightened by faith, edited by H. E. Card. Jorge Medina Estévez and published in these past days: Sei sposato o pensi di sposarti?—Are you married or thinking about getting married?— (Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 4 euros).

 

In the presentation, Card. Julián Herranz, President Emeritus of the Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts, states that, with this work, his friend Card. Medina Estévez, Prefect Emeritus of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, responded to the call of Benedict XVI in the proclamation of the 2013 Year of Faith for “stronger ecclesial commitment to new evangelization in order to rediscover the joy of believing and the enthusiasm for communicating the faith.” The booklet has “the expertise, the passion and the apostolic zeal of the believer who strives to communicate the faith directly and clearly in our specific cultural context," and it is, therefore, an indispensable aid for those wishing to reflect on and continue living married life from the perspective of faith and under the best auspices of a conscious and responsible choice.

Many topics in the kaleidoscope of marriage are addressed, including divorce, nullity, adultery and marital fidelity, fecundity, but also choosing a spouse, marriage preparation and the wedding celebration. And the most important topics are the Christian vision of love as a sacramental union between a man and a woman, and the family as the “domestic church”. “The challenge begins by knowing the truth about marriage,” writes Card. Medina Estévez. “Christian marriage is built under the sign of love,” and “Loving means giving and self-giving.” Love is, therefore, “the opposite of selfishness. It’s sharing, forgiving, serving and not making the other person into a slave.” So, “it’s good to ask the question: Do I have the right idea of what love is? Have I learned to love? Do I recognize that I have not always known how to love?” The perfect model of love is God “He not only has love, but He is love.” And God’s love is spousal: it’s a faithful and fruitful love.
 

Card. Medina Estévez’s book is enlightening not only on a theoretical level; it also contains suggestions of great practical utility that guide the right choices for a “good marriage,” for “a stable, accomplished and lasting union of life.” “The choice of the man or woman who will be one’s partner for life is a matter of the utmost importance,” writes the cardinal. Therefore, this can’t be done “frivolously,” with regard only to material wealth or physical attraction. The future spouse is not an object of pleasure. Partners must look for some quality that is “particularly important and needs to be properly verified:” sincerity, generosity, diligence, for example, and shared respect for the same values and principles. “Overbearing and dominating people, who are selfish and proud, are a bad omen for a healthy and balanced life.” A virtue that both spouses must have is the “ability to recognize their own mistakes” and, so, humility. However, “marriage not only has a temporal and material dimension; it also contains a spiritual projection that is already realized in this earthly stage of our lives and definitely points toward our ultimate destiny, beyond death, in eternal life.” Thus, “the remote foundation of a successful marriage is the Christian life of those who contract it. A Christian life full of Christ.”